I used to overthink all the time. I would get stuck on a problem for days and not be able to move forward. It was frustrating and exhausting, but I didn’t know how to stop it.
In a relationship, overthinking can be a huge problem. The thing is, most of us think about our relationships all the time. We obsess over what could go wrong and what we need to do to fix it. But this kind of thinking isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to remember that your partner doesn’t want or need to be fixed.
Your relationship is complicated enough without adding unnecessary stress and pressure to it.
Overthinking is the number one cause of divorce. It’s also the number one cause of unhappiness, stress, and mental exhaustion.
The reason why overthinking is so harmful is because it causes us to be overly analytical and critical which can lead to anxiety and worry. Overthinking can also make it difficult to trust others and not be able to give people the benefit of the doubt.
If you want to stop overthinking in your relationship, here are some steps you can take:
Ways to Top Overthinking in Relationship
Gain Awareness Into Why You Overthink
You might be thinking about the same things over and over again. For example, maybe you keep thinking about how much your partner disappoints you.
Or maybe you keep thinking about how he or she might cheat on you. Or maybe this is something that has happened before and that’s why it keeps coming up again and again.
No matter what it is, try to figure out what’s going on with your brain when these thoughts are occurring. When you do, it will be easier to notice where they’re coming from and figure out what to do about them.
The best way to avoid overthinking is by building trust in your partner, as well as yourself. When we trust someone else, it allows us to have confidence in their ability to support us when we need it most.
Trust also allows us to open up more fully with our partners and share our true selves with them, which can be very healing for both parties involved.
The more honest you are with each other, the less likely you’ll find yourself overthinking about things that aren’t really important or important enough for either of you to spend time contemplating them.
Share With Your Partner
If you’re overthinking your relationship, you need to be honest about it with your partner. If you’re not honest, the problem won’t ever be solved. You need to tell your partner how you feel and what’s causing the overthinking.
Exchange your thoughts, feelings, and ideas about the relationship regularly. Have conversations about each other’s behavior and the dynamic of your relationship.
Be clear with yourself about what you need in a relationship
Do you need to feel safe, secure, and protected? Do you want a partner who will listen to your problems and be there for you when you need them? If so, then a relationship with someone who shares your values is perfect.
If you are too busy for a relationship, then stop wasting your time on those who cannot give you what you need from them. If the person is not giving back enough in return, then it’s probably best to move on before things get worse.
Make Positivity A Habit
It’s not easy to be positive all the time but if you can make a habit of being positive, it will change your life for the better. Try writing down a list of things that make you happy and then go through that list every day or whenever you feel like it. It doesn’t have to be perfect but just start doing it.
When things aren’t going well, try to focus on how things can improve rather than dwelling on how bad they are right now.
If there is one thing that causes people to overthink their relationships, it’s worrying about things in the future or thinking about things that happened in the past, especially when they were negative experiences or memories from their relationship with their partner or ex-partner.
Be present with your current moment and focus on what is going on right now instead of worrying about what might happen later on in life or from a past.
Fill Your Time
When you’re with someone, try to fill your time with something other than talking about your feelings or getting caught up in the details of their life. If you’re not sure what this might mean for you, try taking a walk around town or going on a drive with no destination.
The point is to intentionally fill your time with something other than thinking about your relationship.
Journaling is an excellent way to process your thoughts and feelings without being judgmental or critical towards yourself or others.
Writing down how you feel can help you become more aware of how you think and act in relationships, which will help you make better decisions and avoid making mistakes that could lead to problems down the road.
Find Outside Support
Overthinking is exhausting, but it can also be a sign of isolation. If you feel like no one understands what you’re going through, reach out to friends, family members, or therapists.
You need people who can help you cope with the stress and stay grounded when things get tough. This will also help keep your partner from feeling isolated as well!
See a Therapist
If there are no other options for getting support in your life (outside of your relationship), seeing a therapist could be an option for both of you.
A trained professional can help you find ways to cope with overthinking without having to rely on unhealthy habits like alcohol or drugs. Because mental health goes beyond just the two of you, it affects everyone around us too including our partners.